Jumbled Pavements

Been trying to unscramble some tangled finances of late and I'm barely able to keep up but I'm still afloat and saving a tiny bit in between. People who owe me money seem to paying up slowly so its something to keep up with the output.  Main reason for this sudden trouble is the lowered bonuses I was so used to getting and I dont see it getting any much better since the current metrics they're using is steep... So its time to step up or step out.

Speaking of stepping, I'm not sure what 'didn't' happen last rest day, someone I really like and spend time with at home kinda had a bit of a mutual misstep, first was my wasted chance at getting 'it' on, part of me wanted to but the rest was like 'uh, he said what? I should what? oh my!' I guess I got used to being manhandled to many times that if given a more consensual chance I balk.

Then again I've been balking at a lot of things of late and that too puzzles me, am usually a lot more gung-ho than this, *sigh* another mystery for another time.

Second would be the opportunity to spend more time with him which I again wasted with balking with juggled schedules. I mean its a chance to get to know the guy further and to even things out, I know as much when it comes to etiquette since he spends more time here, I should spend just as much with him in 'his' comfort zone. Somehow I feel I owe him some 'his turf' time.

Last was a combination puzzle, make overs to make me more um, presentable were offered and a rather clumsy missed chance for a little sweet kiss was the last conundrum. I know am not the clearest person on the planet and right now I'm not exactly readable of late but even I'm a bit misconstruing the whole thing. Am I assuming? Am I wishing? Projecting? or even *gasp* hoping??

I cant say but who knows, I'm not in a hurry (I think) and I got a few things on my plate I have to finish on my own before I ask another person to share my life. This song is on repeat right now, on the playlist and at inopportune times in real life.