Things are getting back in the spirit of chaos, nothing thats unwieldy but it starts to pile up. I've been trying to straighten out my feelings for certain people by going headlong into a dive and finding out the secrets hidden in its depths. At least its one of the things that I can move to the side so I can move a bit more freely.
On the subject of love/like/lust interests, I know I got a few. So far I know someone I liked a lot (I used to have warm fuzzy feelings when I was able to hug him when I slept) is not a viable option anymore aka, he's not interested (at least for now, convenience factor I guess) hahahaha, ouch....
Then there's another one who I never really hoped for anything (sweet but flighty people will probably never land on me), will probably remain as my friend for a long time, but stays at that too. Pity.
A young one that I had the folly of falling for and still like the guy after years of being passed over shows interest but I can't feel more than being a father/brother to him now But, well, the stray memories of furry wonder when I caress his legs when we used to sleep spooning together keep me thinking how it could be then doused into a reality of nothing.
That narrows down interesting people to a very select few and though I have been trying to get some answers from myself on what it all means, interest doesn't seem to be anything more than a one way thing.
Maybe I'll fess up and say what I feel, but I'm pretty sure I'm transparent enough to people of interest so that I rarely need to verbalize myself.
Given that, I don't think I'll be talking soon. And when the attraction fades in the face of one way interests, we'll be the equivalent of two unmagnetized rods, we can clang together but we won't stick. Weird analogy but my brain's kinda iffy tonight so... I'll say goodnight for now
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